It’s Saturday morning. On Saturday mornings lazy people sleep in. Lazy people who rue the day they plan anything before midday, will sleep in. I am one of these people.
However, this Saturday morning I was rudely awoken by cramp biting down on both my calves. It had me sitting bolt upright and wide awake in 0.87 seconds. Cramp is the worst! Can I get an ‘AMEN’?!
So it was 10:19am and I’m scrolling through instagram. I keep catching myself pausing for longer on photos with gourmet deli meat. I have cravings for things like fatty salami and prosciutto, which makes me rather impressed with myself. I mean, if you’re going to enjoy some meat it may as well be rich, decadent, gourmet meat right?
No Crystelley, you will not be having any cured, gourmet or other meats for another 15 days.
My flatmate came into my room so say hi. She’s annoyed because someone across the road starting using their leaf blower at 10:30am. How dare they?!
One of my brothers paid me to drive him and some friends around a few vineyards today, and of course the first stop was lunch. Guess what the Tasting Shed in Kumeu had to offer us? The Shed Platter with prosciutto AND salami staring me right in the face. The only things I could eat were a few olives, some baby gherkins and a decorative yellow chilli.
I’ve been reduced to eating a garnish.